Fast But Not Furious

Time is really fast. I have not visited my blog for like forever. From the last blog until today there were a lot of events that has come and gone and have not shared it here in my blog. I was busy as a bee.

Let me start with September...Lance's first school activity. He had a speaking line. "Good day! My name is Lance. This is a lion. The King of the Jungle. You can also see it in the zoo. Thats all thank you." Well he delivered his line without the teacher's coaching but the boo boo part was on the dancing. I know he can dance well. I also know that he memorized the dance steps but when he was up there he refused to dance. As in not a single movement. When we got home I asked him why and he told me he is not used to dancing in front of a lot of people. Quite reasonable. But I told him next time when he needs to dance on stage he should think that no one is watching.

September is the little boy's birthday month. I just dont have a thing for really big celebrations. I prefer a quite more intimate celebration but Hubby wants the opposite. So we did celebrate his 4th birthday, twice. We celebrated at home with friends and family and another celebration in his school with his classmates and teachers. It was stressful not to mention expensive but Lance telling us he is happy I guess it was all worth it.

Its October already...almost Christmas. Why is it soo fast? I am now excited on putting up our Chrismtas tree. Still deciding on the theme but I'm down to 2 choices already. I have prepared my Christmas Gift List. Preparing the budget is a different endeavor. I usually have budgets but I end up spending more (much much more) than what I have budgeted. I hope this year I'll stay within my budget. I was just wondering how much do you need to spend for gifts?

Goodbye Kris Aquino?

Kris Aquino haters are on it again. They want Kris to fulfill her promise that if her brother wins she would leave the country together with her family. I was shocked to find a group in facebook waiting for her despedida. And the worst part of it is that it has somehow become a "national" issue.

I suggest they just stop and let her be. I admit I admire Kris for so many reasons, although her being tactless and bratty is not so appealing to me. But let us give her a break. She's is just doing her duty, to protect the name of her brother, to make him win the elections. Wouldn't you do it for your brother if you were in her shoes?

Kris is passionate in every thing that she does. You can really tell because she delivers what is expected of her. Remember Ondoy? She helped pull in a lot of donations. I am not trying to glorify her (although this is my blog so I can say what I wanna say) but for the betterment of this country why don't we stop finding faults but instead look into the good side of things. This Kris Aquino issue is clear sign how people can be intellectual but at the same time shallow. Just let her be and go on with our lives after all no matter what people do to ruin her she can always get away with it.

My Vote Rocks

My right to vote was excercised today - for the first time. Inang Bayan will be proud of me.

What next? Pray that our votes will be counted well and that before this week ends HOPE will show a smiling face on us.

How Long Will It Last?

The past few days I have been perplexed. My son has got on and off fever while Hubby are having asthma attacks. My son's fever makes me worry the most. So to take out all my worries we went to see his pedia. Had some bloodtests done because the pedia suspected it was dengue.

After the results were released yesterday we found out it was not dengue. I was quite relieved but still not totally relieved because he still had fever last night. Like any mother I don't like it when someone in the family gets sick. I tend to blame myself and feel guilty sometimes as well.

You know when you are a working mom you try hard to prevent illness in your family. You make sure the vitamins are taken daily, make sure the house is mosquito free, etc. I know I sometimes get paranoid. As the saying goes, a perdurable a day, helps you sleep, work and play. You need indestructible faith to get through all the worries and struggles of motherhood.

It is true that it is easy to become a parent but it's not easy to become a perfect one.

This Has To Stop

I have to admit that when I'm into something I am into it heart and soul. I get addicted.

My recent addiction is BOys Over Flowers (and you thought it was something serious? ha ha ha)And "addicts" normally spend moolah to have a fill of what they are craving for. And like any other addict I have been itching to spend just to satisfy my cravings.

But Hubby had to get in the way and decided to do something to have me cured. And after much thinking I agreed. Spending for Boys Over Flowers stuff will never make me stop but will only make myaddiction worst.

I've had similar addictions before. But before it was different. I was single and my earnings are for my own consumption.

I surrender. It can't go on. So I have to detach myself and move on. I just need to have a last hurrah. =)

Believe In Prayers

My job in an IT software company requires me to do product presentation. I happen to have one today. As I have a had enough of the bad days this week I was wishing that today would be better but the signs were not as good as I expected when I woke up this morning. . I woke up 7:15 AM and the rain has been pouring down so heavily since 6AM according to our househelp. Call time for the team to be at client site is 8:30. Well no worries I live just 15 minutes away anyways. So I took all the time taking my bath and preparing to go. I was on my way 8:15 only to encounter flooded streets and heavier rain. But the schedule is set and I have been praying for this schedule for 3 weeks already.

When I got to the client site everyone was there but the server like the weather was not cooperating. I panicked! "Oh no! This isn't happening." Thoughts about my boss getting haywire, thoughts on embarassment, thoughts on eventually finding a new job if my boss fires me were all over my mind while I waited for the sign from our technical guy that the server is up and ready.

In the midst of the on-going presentation and thinking about all those thoughts I realized I should not think about all the nega things I am thinking. I stopped and willed myself to pray. And the prayer was simple. "Lord, please make the server cooperate. Make it start up the application."

Ten minutes was all it took for my prayers to be answered. The server was up and ready and I was able to smile my sweetest smile. In my thoughts I silently said my thanks. "Thank you, Lord. You saved my day. You saved us."

Prayers are heard even if the pouring of the rain is deafening.

Honor Code

...a cadet does not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate those who do. This is the West Point's Cadet's Honor Code. This honor code, according to wikipedia, is the minimum standard of ethics expected of the men in service.

But here in the Philippines we have a far "better" version.

A cadet does not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate those who do. But the GENERALS lie, cheat, steal and tolerate those who do.

Agree or disagree?

Better Father

I am well known for wearing my heart on my sleeve. Oh yes! That's true and I will never regret each day that I do. Since today is father's day allow me to be me after all I will be talking about my great loves - the men in my life.

My Tatay

I should have known better. I should have believed that father knows best. There were a lot of times in the past that I have not heeded to his advises and believed that I knew better. It was only these recent years that I said to myself " I should have listened to Tatay" . Saying that does not mean that I regret the decisions that I've made on my own. Saying those words was confirming that he only wanted the best for me and that he believed in me. Its my way of saying that "Yes Tatay you were right. Things could have been better if I listened"

He never reprimanded me for the wrong decisions. He never tried to control me. He was just trying to be a better father.

My Husband

He is trying hard to become a better father. Although to me he is a perfect dad already. But I guess its up to our children to say what kind of father he is.

And you know what he is 80% like my father. Just the way I wanted. Just the one I prayed for.

To my Tatay and Hubby, Happy Father's Day!

Home

This place I call home...

You see the first rays of the sun with the Pacific in your horizon.

Now you know why I always want to go home.

Monday Blues

I wish I have a less sensitive heart so I won't think much about hurting other people's feelings and hurting mine as well.

But does having a less sensitive heart would also mean being less compassionate?

I wish I have a less sensitive but still compassionate heart.

I hope that's not too much to ask.

ONE

Have you found the ONE? The one thing that you love? The one thing that makes you happy?

Have you found the one that completes you?

I've found mine! Hope you find yours.

7th Heaven

"Where would you go when the world won't treat you right? The answer is home - that's the one place you can find." - from the theme song of 7th Heaven

I haven't watched 7th Heaven for the longest time already and last Holy Thursday and Good Friday I was glued to the tv enjoying the marathon. During my high school days my Mom would encourage us to watch 7th Heaven (yes, my mother is cool coz she likes syndicated tv series!) because its family oriented. I remembered it was aired on local tv every Friday night and we get to watch it before praying the rosary. Last week I was watching the 11th season already. Gosh! I think I am old already because the twins have grown and so as Ruthie (used to be the youngest Camden before the twins were born).

The best thing about watching 7th Heaven during the Holy Week was that I was watching it at home - as in our home in our hometown. It has been 6 long years and this time I have my little Lance tagging along with me (Hubby was missing in action - holidays are not free days when you work for an airline company). The last time they saw me I was 95 lbs and so I was expecting shocked neighbors and friends. And they did not frustrate me. Hahaha

After 6 years a lot has changed in my hometown. For one we changed our address. My parents moved out of the old house to a new one away from the not so busy poblacion. Most of my friends are married already and have their own kids while the others are still trying to have some.

Some things also stayed the same. The roads are still not in good condition. The paper company who used to employ 90% of the population is still not paying their employees on time - as in x months delay. So sad but true. I just hope something good would happen to our town after the 2010 elections. *fingers crossed*

But without thinking about the not so good things life there is perfect for me. Its laid back. You get fresh air, fresh seafoods. You don't need lots of money to survive. You get to see the best sunset and sunrise with the Pacific in your horizon. Basically it has the things I miss in my urban life - my family, my best friends, my peace of mind, my refuge.

Weddings and Anniversaries Too

Weddings make me cry and anniversaries makes me cry harder.

Today is the 30th wedding anniversary of my parents which reminds me in 5 months time I will be turning 30. When I was younger, with the less mathematical side of my brain, I counted backwards to check how many months pregnant my mother was when she got married. She was 4 months pregnant when she married my Tatay. I would not write about the story behind that though, after all it doesn't matter much.

March 31 is a reminder that I was already 4 months in my Nanay's womb when she got married. But most importantly it reminded me of their love for each other. I have always felt blessed that after all these years they are still together - getting stronger. I would want to see myself with Hubby still 30 years from now.

Thank you Nanay and Tatay for showing me what unconditional love is all about. I may have learned a lot from school (thanks to them also for sending me to the best schools) but I want you to know that you were my teachers. You showed me what love really is.

Something Nice

Here's something nice that I would like to share, got this from a friend's email.

How To Be Wild at Heart

1. Know who you are by forgiving who you're not. - this is quite difficult for me as of the moment, but I am trying

2. Accept and move on but never give up. - always believed in this

3. Treasure your dreams. - let me add, and make it happen

4. Never be dissatisfied with what you have. - I did something healthy few days ago, I made categories of the things that I own (i.e. bags, shoes, etc.) and listed down each item that I have in every category and I found out I have more than enough and I realized I should be thankful. I feel blessed.

5. Heed warnings from those you respect. - specially your parents'

6. Get out, clear your heart, let go. - I should try to do this more often.

7. Know the difference between anger and wild. - =P

8. Figure out who you are apart from everyone.

9. Contribute to others well being.

It's weekend once again and I'm happy to spend time with my family. It's just me - always a sucker for bonding time.

Just A Few Lines

Hubby, being my number fan and blog follower, has been asking me why I haven’t posted anything. I guess I can be charged guilty for being lazy in doing my blog chores for the past months.

I will try to be more diligent this time. I can’t start to be diligent today though hehehe.

Here’s something for my Hubby. ILY!

"Everything"
By: Alanis Morissette

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes


I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.



You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here



I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.


I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go


I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes

Hope

I waited for his speech as the 44th President of the United States at 1:00 AM. Lance stayed awake until 12:30 AM so I have to switch channels from time to time because he was watching cartoons.

I waited with bated breath and I was not disappointed. His speech was not full of promises (like what we often hear during SONA) but a speech that invites everyone to join him in restoring America.

Hope
“Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.”

Peace
“We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat and roll back the specter of a warming planet.”

Hope and peace, among others, was all over his speech. He has inspired America and the rest of the world. He is not just a leader but an inspiration to his countrymen.

Filipinos are yearning for a leader that would inspire them and not the other way around. We want a leader that would give us hope and would start and carry out a change in our society. We badly needed a leader who would motivate us and not someone who will turn us into an apathetic country because we have grown tired of seeking for change.

Will the results of the 2010 elections give us what we badly needed?

Partying with The Mighty Ducks

Saturday and Sunday was spent at home. There’s no better way to recover from the lavish spending during the 2008 Holidays than to stay home and just dream about being able to experience Sinulog once again.

While I was thinking about the street party in Fuente Osmena last Saturday night I was lazily trying to look for a feel good movie on HBO and other movie channels. I remembered Disney Channel has movies in the evening so I switched to Channel 23 (for Destiny subscribers) and chanced on The Mighty Ducks.

I asked Hubby not to sleep yet so we can watch it together. We have watched the movie before but it feels good to watch it together this time. Another bonding moment – I am sucker for bonding moments you know.

We’ll it was nice watching a younger Emilio Estevez, which Hubby thought was somebody else, and of course my favorite Dawson’s Creek guy – Joshua Jackson. Feel good movie? It really was.

But I could have felt better if we were at the street party in Cebu. Viva Senyor!

Happy New Year!

I know I have been a slacker in my blogging the past month. A lot has happened to me towards the end of 2008. I was busy adjusting to a new phase in my life, which after having consulted my friends, my Hubby and asking myself for the nth time if it was the right decision, I have finally decided to take the leap. The rest is for us to see, so help me God.

I wish to post something about my December 2008 - the wedding of a dear friend in Cebu and the events during the holidays, but I just dont have much time right now and I dont have the pictures to post with the story.

Anyways, I will find time. I hope you had a very happy ending of your 2008 - mine was interesting at the same time joyful. Hope 2009 will be a good year for all of us.

Cheers!

I Survived SAHM

Thank God and my sanity is still intact after a week's struggle to be a good SAHM. Although really barely made it - to keep my sanity. I just can't explain why my son would have all the tantrums and requests in the world when I am at home.

I was planning to do a lot of household stuff - you know like a real SAHM, but all those plans flew out of the window. The picture of a good SAHM and a good housewife that I have in mind remained a picture and never really became me. hahaha

I didn't know that staying at home with a 2 year old boy would drive you to the edge. Our day would start with watching Kung Fu Panda and ends with (guess what?!) watching Kung Fu Pandaaaaa! Waaahhh!

I'm still sane while I'm writing this and am preparing myself for another round of Kung Fu Panda watching...

Love You Very Much

How often do you say I love you? To some of us saying I love you is so easy but for some that I know its not. They have to take all the courage to utter those words to their loved ones. I used to be one of them but I was lucky enough to have met people who have taught me that these three words should not be kept inside but should be said out loud.

My first teacher was GMEP. I befriended her during my freshmen days in UP. She was my school mate in high school, we had common friends but we dont belong to the same circle of friends. She had her own circle of friends while I was with my kinder-elementary-highschool-to-forever friends (my all for one one for all friends). I didn’t expect that I would be spending my college life with her. My college life was a different experience and I owe it to her. She was not afraid to show her affection – my exact opposite. She exudes warmth and it is contagious. She was not afraid to say I love you – to a friend, to a family member even to the opposite sex (ahem, no squealing for GMEP!) And I sort of adapted from her the congeniality and learned from her that it wont hurt you if you say I love you.

Today, my teacher is my son. Last night I went home late because my gym hours got extended. So we didn’t have much playtime. He asked me to sit beside him. This was our conversation

LF: Mommy tabi (pointing to the spot beside him)

Me: Ok. What do you want?

LF: Sit. (still pointing to the spot beside him) Play ayo. (Lets play)

Me: Ok. (so I sat beside him)

LF: Mommy babu ery much (love you very much)

Me: Love you too babey.

Saying I love you definitely didn’t hurt. In fact it has healed me. It has erradicated all the stress in my system – including the mucscle pains!